Just Do You

Because we always have choices…

  • Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

    Join 409 other followers

  • Subscribe

  • Share With Others

    Bookmark and Share
  • Archives

  • To View Older Blogs From Blogger.com

    http://georgiannasaysjustdoyou.blogspot.com
  • Categories

  • 2010 to Present

    July 2017
    M T W T F S S
    « Dec    
     12
    3456789
    10111213141516
    17181920212223
    24252627282930
    31  

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Thought for the day…

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on September 15, 2014


“Hate. It has caused a lot of problems in this world but has not solved one yet.” – Maya Angelou

“Think before you post smear campaigns against those you don’t approve of, disagree with or dislike. It doesn’t make people agree with you unless they are already on that path… Present an affirmative position about what you do believe in, and then dialogue can start!” – Georgianna Melendez

Happy Monday!!! — feeling ready

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Let it go…

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on September 1, 2014


Many of us have been described as “Type-A’s”.  It has both positive and negative descriptors and meanings.   My own response to my husband calling me this is typically defensive. It doesn’t matter that more often than not, he means it as a compliment.   It means I keep at something until it gets done.   It also means I have a master plan on “how” to get it done.

I have learned over time, that it is more important to get most things in life done and the “how” can vary.  That variation is okay.  In most situations, when it boils down to it, the stakes are not that high and life goes on even when mistakes are made.

Once I started to give over to that way of thinking, my stress levels went down.  I do NOT need to always be in charge, nor do I want to.  Others are capable of making decisions.  There are many ways to do something.

image

The people around you will like you more for allowing them to breathe and think and do.  You will also have more time on your hands.  Let it go…

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts.  Won’t you share yours?

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Following Dreams

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on June 4, 2014


We all have dreams that circle around in our heads and hearts. Sometimes we are afraid to say them out loud because it will mean we have to act on it. Sometimes we don’t voice it to others because we are afraid of what they will do to our dream. In our mind, it is wonderful. Our friends and family have a way of identifying all the things that could go wrong if we pursue it, the risks we would be taking, the reasons why we should wait, all in the spirit of love and desire to be helpful. Their good intentions make us want to say nothing. Sometimes we do voice it and the advice flows freely, solicited or not. It can take an emotional toll, make you second guess.

Dreams

I say do it anyway. Do your homework, prepare, plan, invest in your dream. If it is worth dreaming, it is worth taking risks. Keep a daily journal. Write down something you did each day to get closer to making your dream a reality. “Thinking” counts as doing something. Surround yourself with supporters. Don’t stop your friends and family from giving you advice, just take it for what it is, a community brainstorm. You can take the things that they say that are helpful and let go of the ones that are not. Practice your “thankful face”. Remember, these are the same folks who will help you build your dream along the way or be there for you if it doesn’t happen how you envisioned it.

There are no guarantees in life. The beauty of it all is that the opportunity to pursue your dream is of your own making. Yes some of us have more obstacles to getting there than others, but it makes it all the sweeter when we get there!

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts. Won’t you share yours?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

Intentional Acts of Kindness

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on June 7, 2013


I was recently reminded about the big impact a small gesture can have on others. Often we take for granted the way our actions and words affect other people, particularly if you are in a position to be influential in an outcome for them. This is true for work, for home and with our friends. These are not the random acts of kindness that I ALWAYS encourage. These are intentional opportunities to do something good for someone you know.

act of kindness

If someone asks you to make a phone call for them, and you can do it and you have no concerns about the person who has asked this of you, then why not do it? What if they ask you to send an email or write a letter? Sometimes it is as simple as remembering an important event in their life. Yes, some of us cheat with that one. With Facebook, Google calendar and all other kinds of constant reminders that someone has a birthday, anniversary, or other event in their life, it is difficult to miss an opportunity to say or do something thoughtful.

These small actions have an impact on how people feel about you, how they perceive you and how they will respond to you when you make a request of them. I am not suggesting you do it because you will get something out of it. I am suggesting that if you open yourself up to being good to others that you are then putting positive energy out to the world. If you believe in karma, this is a good thing.

One other important note, your actions should come from a genuine place or that will also show through. So why not take time to do something good today? Need a suggestion? I have a friend who often shows up for coffee or a lunch date with me with a small gift (thanks JM), something that told me she thought about me before coming to hang out. It is random and it is nice. Another suggestion is to keep a box of greeting cards/note cards handy and forever stamps. Send snail mail notes of hello, congratulations, birthday etc. This is something we don’t do nearly enough. How many of us smile when we get a card in the mail?

Anyway, I don’t have the answer, but I always have thoughts. Won’t you share yours?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

It’s Not Personal…

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on March 23, 2013


Do you ever struggle with giving someone feedback about their performance at work? I am talking about someone on your team that you are responsible for supervising, leading, managing, etc? What is it that makes it so challenging to just say it? Who are you helping by not giving the feedback? And who are you hurting?

Sometimes, we get in our own way because we make it personal. I am not saying that you should be impersonal, in fact some of my favorite direct supervisors have been my favorites because they seem to care on a personal level.

That said, I also appreciate honest feedback delivered with consideration. The more direct, the better it is to digest. If I could be better at something or if I have overstepped, I would want to know. Not knowing means I will repeat the pattern of behavior that could get in the way of my moving forward. If I am being careless or reckless, then chances are, I know that too. It’s possible I thought no one was noticing and I was sliding.

Having been in a position to give feedback to others in a variety of roles, I can say it gets easier over time, especially when you realize that you are helping the other person have a chance at being more successful in their role. It also helps your team be more successful. It sometimes feels hard to give the feedback because you don’t want to offend the person, hurt their feelings, have them be mad at you, have them talk bad about you, have them argue with you, and the list goes on.

When you get in this place, remember, it’s not personal. In fact, giving the feedback could be helpful to you both.

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts. Won’t you share yours?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Importance of a Filter…

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on March 4, 2013


There is nothing like a good cup of coffee.  Whether you buy Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts, it would just not taste the same if it came with the grains swirling around in your cup.  Thank goodness for the invention of the F-I-L-T-E-R.  We like our cleaned up version better.  It makes it easier to swallow.  

It’s no different than the way we would like to receive feedback, particularly when it is critical in nature. I’m not kidding…most of us have “foot-in-mouth” disease.  Even when we spend the time to think about what we say, our filter is often broken.  It doesn’t mean that we are not articulate, smart individuals.  It might mean that we are too close to a situation to be objective even when we think we are.

This holds true for emails, letters and voicemails.  This applies to our professional and personal communications …
This is a lot like the advice yo get to sit on an email before you send it for at least a day, particularly if you are upset. The next day may change the way you see the situation as well as your words. The difference is that someone who is not affected directly by your feedback can give you a perspective on how it sounds to make sure that it is the message you want to send.

The point is that a lot of our bad communications come from an emotional place.  It can be anger, frustration, sadness, fear, and even happiness.  We are so caught up in our feelings that we often cannot filter well for ourselves.  Present company included in the need for a filter.

I recommend that you find someone you trust with your emotions that is also good with words.  Someone who can help you boil down to what your point is and what you are trying to accomplish with the communication.  While letting someone know how you feel about something they have done may be satisfying in the moment, it may only be self-serving and in the long run can come back like a Boomerang and knock you down.  It is particularly tricky in situations when you are communicating with a person who has power over you, like an employer, a professor, an official, etc.  Upsetting someone who will evaluate your performance in any situation and then reward or punish you through grades, compensation or recognition could be a big deal and have a significant impact.  So with a filter, you have a chance of turning something around and make it work for you.

Any of you have situations like this that you care to share?

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts.  Won’t you share yours?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Straight Talk Is Not Rude

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on January 10, 2013


Would you ever go to the store to buy something specific, get to the register and let the cashier charge you for the item but give you something different? Probably not. Likely you would insist that you were there to purchase the specific item, and not half of the item or some replacement of their choosing. In other words, you are able to clearly advocate for yourself. If the cashier refuses to comply, you could simply walk away without making the purchase. It’s not emotional, it’s business.

How often do you do business with someone who does not produce what you contracted them to produce? Sometimes you have a relationship with them – like they are a friend, neighbor, someone you go to church with, etc., and that relationship gets in the way of your ability to be direct with them. Sometimes someone offers to do something for free and doesn’t produce, how do you address that? It’s truly very sensitive…but get over it. Business is business and in making your agreement, both walked into the arrangement with an understanding.

Being transparent and direct is important so that people know where they stand and where you stand. If you are feeling it and thinking it, but not saying it, the noise is present in your interactions with them and can create an uncomfortable dynamic for you, for them or for both of you. Sometimes it is a misunderstanding, and sometimes it is not. You won’t figure that out unless you address it.

It is important to not make a big production out of the straight talk, but be sincere in addressing it. Remember that anger and frustration are emotions and don’t have a place in the conversation. You put on your big girl or big boy pants and deal with it. You can then reduce your own stress levels and add clarity to the situation that allows you to make changes that you need. This could mean they step up or they step out, either way it allows you to move forward.

I learned to do this by watching other people that were good at it and seeing that the result was way more positive than I would have ever guessed AND that the recipient of the straight talk often responded just as matter-of-factly. People often respond to the energy YOU put out.

Do any readers have examples you would like to share?

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts. Won’t you share yours?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

A Touch of Class

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on July 30, 2012


I, like many people around the world, find myself glued to the TV at night competing in, ah-hem, I mean watching the Olympians compete. The adrenaline rush is incredible. Like it or not, the way the media covers a sporting event can make or break your experience. The wrong level of coverage or the wrong commentary can send you off the deep end.

So last night, as I was watching our USA women’s gymnastic team members compete for the two slots for the all-around competition, my heart both soared and broke as I saw two young women beam with happiness and one break down in tears at being so close and yet not make it. I cried with her. I cringed thinking about the media hounds who would pepper her with questions and who would not let her have privacy in such a devastating moment in her life.

Then, the media surprised me. They stepped back and let her gather herself. They focused on the positive and gave her permission to cry and to recover before interviewing her. I love the kind of class the Olympics bring out in people and wish it would translate to media coverage in the rest of our lives. I am lifted by their thoughtfulness and it makes her loss more human.

Here is sending thanks for the classy media coverage (at least last night!). The way the media covers a story is always a choice. Choices have impact.

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts. Won’t you share yours?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Good Advocate for Others, Terrible Advocate for Yourself

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on March 27, 2012


Are you one of those people who is a ferocious advocate for others? You have no problem speaking up for your children, your friends or your co-workers? When it comes to you, do you find a million and one reasons why you don’t need to say or do anything, you excuse or work-around other people’s bad behavior towards you?

Have you ever asked yourself why? Don’t you deserve the good and fair treatment you are demanding for others?

Here is a small test you can take for yourself to determine whether or not you should consider truly acting on something:
– pretend the situation or behavior is happening to someone else (your child if that is the person you are the most protective of)
– forget about how you are personally connected to the person behaving badly (it is tough, you know you will immediately start rationalizing even while I am
asking you not to do that)
– what advice would you give your friend, child, co-worker?
– are there new avenues you haven’t explored before? are you already saying you don’t really want to stir the pot?

Remember, there are always choices to be made. It doesn’t mean that they are good, happy choices, but choices just the same. So, for example, if you are in a hostile work environment, and you feel it would only make it worse to confront or hold the offender accountable (your boss? co-worker?)…what are your other choices? It could be anything. Ask to be re-assigned if that is an option. Quietly start hunting for a new job. Find a person in leadership who could run interference… I am sure there are many more options. Sometimes it is quitting without another job (but most do not have the luxury of not having that weekly paycheck to make ends meet).

Be your own advocate. You deserve to be treated well and fairly. Don’t settle for anything less!

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts. Won’t you share yours?

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

The price of GOSSIP

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on February 7, 2012


Who doesn’t gossip? Sure some of us are more selective about who we share our gossip with, limiting it to our close friends and family. That said, the world of social media has changed the way we share our…shall we call it information? With TV ads “that was so 27 seconds ago…” as our reminder, news travels fast. We also know that for some reason, gossip travels faster. You never want to be the one that people are gossiping about.

We all want to be in the know, and we want people to share with us. We want information first and fast. It is only natural that we give back, right?

GOSSIP is harmful when we are sharing information about others even if it is true and we have the information first-hand. Food for thought…what do you suppose the person who is listening to you is thinking about your sharing someone’s secret, even if it’s juicy? Are they grateful? Are they feeling part of your inner circle? Or are they wondering how much of what they shared with you gets shared with other people in your “inner circle”? The cycle of trust starts and ends with you. You are responsible for your behavior and only you. You can’t control how people perceive you, but you can control your actions. Why risk losing someone’s trust?

Once you have shared someone else’s secret with them, will they hesitate to trust you? Gossip always has a price. Be thoughtful about your behavior and know that it increases the chances that others will return the favor.

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts. Won’t you share yours?

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »