Just Do You

Because we always have choices…

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Importance of a Filter…

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on March 4, 2013


There is nothing like a good cup of coffee.  Whether you buy Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts, it would just not taste the same if it came with the grains swirling around in your cup.  Thank goodness for the invention of the F-I-L-T-E-R.  We like our cleaned up version better.  It makes it easier to swallow.  

It’s no different than the way we would like to receive feedback, particularly when it is critical in nature. I’m not kidding…most of us have “foot-in-mouth” disease.  Even when we spend the time to think about what we say, our filter is often broken.  It doesn’t mean that we are not articulate, smart individuals.  It might mean that we are too close to a situation to be objective even when we think we are.

This holds true for emails, letters and voicemails.  This applies to our professional and personal communications …
This is a lot like the advice yo get to sit on an email before you send it for at least a day, particularly if you are upset. The next day may change the way you see the situation as well as your words. The difference is that someone who is not affected directly by your feedback can give you a perspective on how it sounds to make sure that it is the message you want to send.

The point is that a lot of our bad communications come from an emotional place.  It can be anger, frustration, sadness, fear, and even happiness.  We are so caught up in our feelings that we often cannot filter well for ourselves.  Present company included in the need for a filter.

I recommend that you find someone you trust with your emotions that is also good with words.  Someone who can help you boil down to what your point is and what you are trying to accomplish with the communication.  While letting someone know how you feel about something they have done may be satisfying in the moment, it may only be self-serving and in the long run can come back like a Boomerang and knock you down.  It is particularly tricky in situations when you are communicating with a person who has power over you, like an employer, a professor, an official, etc.  Upsetting someone who will evaluate your performance in any situation and then reward or punish you through grades, compensation or recognition could be a big deal and have a significant impact.  So with a filter, you have a chance of turning something around and make it work for you.

Any of you have situations like this that you care to share?

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts.  Won’t you share yours?

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