Just Do You

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    October 2011
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It could be worse…you could be one of them

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on October 14, 2011

That is a line from a facebook post I read today. I am including it here:

I loved this because I often find myself trying to prove something to other people out of my own insecurity that they might be judging me in a way I do not want to be judged. It’s silly and yet real. Have you ever been in a situation where someone treats you in an offensive way intentionally or says something that is designed to hurt you?

In the moment it is hard to stop and remind yourself that it is not a fault of yours, but a fault of theirs. It doesn’t come natural to shrug your shoulders and internally acknowledge their ignorance, especially when it is targeting you or someone you care about. I have hot buttons when people say offensive things around gender, race, poverty, age, weight, and the list goes on and on… So being treated in a way that is unjust…well, you can imagine.

I do my best to model the behavior that I would like to see in others (though admittedly I am not always successful). Sometimes, I try to call the offender on their behavior, and if it’s relevant, I make a point to do so. Sometimes, it is not worth it and I say a silent prayer for the wisdom that makes me not “one of them.” Much of the bad behavior in this world is based on fear. Once I identify a fear, I work hard to recognize the ways in which it can be destructive, like giving myself permission to say something nasty to someone. In the end it never makes me feel better and it does nothing to educate them or change their behavior.

Instead, use your energy to give out positive, uplifting vibes. Doing that can still make others feel threatened, but again, focus on your happiness and what will perpetuate that.

I know I am not the only one who feels challenged by this. Any thoughts, stories or recommendations?

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts. Won’t you share yours?


One Response to “It could be worse…you could be one of them”

  1. I believe we can/should only observe unless asked for some guidance or opinion. If we decide that we should or can “fix” people we’re going to make matters worse.

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