Helping or Enabling?

There is a big difference between helping someone and enabling someone.  Do you know what it is?

Are there people in your life that you feel like never get it together, never change, never make progress, no matter how many times you step in to “help” them?  I am not writing this to suggest that you stop “helping” when someone needs it.  It might be an opportunity to reflect on the role you are playing in keeping someone stuck.  What would truly happen if you stopped helping?  What would happen if you never stop helping?  Do you want to be in the role of “helping” that person for the foreseeable future?  Where do you draw the line?

We all have the capacity to be empathetic and sympathetic.  We all have that desire to help others deep sown inside.  For some reason we can filter our desire to help with some better than with others.  Plus we do not have unlimited resources…if you do, call me, I want to be your friend!!! jk

So ask yourself some questions:

1) What is YOUR goal in helping?

2) Do you achieve that goal?

3) What is the other person’s goal in your helping them?

4) Do they achieve that goal?

5) Is it a good short term situation?

6) Is it a good long term situation?

7) (repeat) Where do you draw the line?

8) Who appointed you their savior?

There is so much that I could say about this subject, but from one enabler to another, I will not PREACH.  I am all about stating the obvious and giving myself an opportunity to reflect, decide and make it a purposeful decision.  If I am going to enable someone, I want to be an active participant in that decision.

This is my thought for today…I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts.  Won’t you share yours?

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