Just Do You

Because we always have choices…

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    October 2010
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Getting Even…

Posted by georgiannasaysjustdoyou on October 13, 2010

When was the last time you had a fantasy about getting even with someone who has wronged you or someone close to you?  And please don’t give me the “PC” answer.  Answer this question for yourself.  While most of you will never act on the fantasy, some of you will.

I thought I would share this quote from a tweeter that I follow:  “Get even with people…but not those who have hurt us, forget them, instead get even with those who have helped us.”  – Steve Maraboli

People who have hurt you are taking up rental space in your heart and brain and are not paying for it!  So put your energy into those who have helped you instead, they have pre-paid.  It is much more satisfying to do some good than it is to perpetuate a cycle of negativity.

Sometimes these fantasies help you through a challenging or stressful moment when you can’t think of another way to cope.  But it is not good for us to stay there, in that negative space.

Do you have suggestions for alternative coping strategies for those struggling with the cycle of negativity?

I don’t have the answers, but I always have thoughts.  Won’t you share yours?


7 Responses to “Getting Even…”

  1. Our ego loves to “one up” the other when it feels wronged. To recognize that, transcend our own ego and not one-up takes practice. If we don’t respond things can’t escalate. Our Karma remains good and that makes it worth it.

    Thanks Georgianna!!

  2. harlan said

    When we wish to get even with others, gd, the universe, whatever you want to call it, focuses on our anger and negativity and gives us more of it. Like begats like.

    So focus your energy on positive, helping others is good, but also focus on good things for yourself like love of friends, happiness, the beauty of nature. Do that and you will see the positive in everything. Like begats like.

  3. Georgianna this was a fantastic post! Life is all about energy and where we chose to focus us. I have certainly not been exempt from thoughts of “getting even” before but you are so right that we need to be focusing on getting even with those who have helped us. Great job!

  4. Molly said

    Well lets see…
    NO PC here…
    I honestly don’t remember the last time I thought about revenge. Don’t get me wrong I daily have instances of opportunities, that ordinary people WOULD seek vengence for. Example – one of my teenegers that lives in my house with me … deliberately and maliciously broke my walkway lamps because he knew I just bought them and was mad at me for doing my job. AKA – holding him accountable through our motivation system. Some would say I did get the last laugh because I had him pay for them … but to me that is teaching him responsibility because in 2 short years if he did the same thing to a neighbor… and said ” Oh yeah you like your new F*!#ing lights???” SMash, crash STOMP! he would have charges.
    Most people in my position would press charges.
    I kept my cool, and remembered my ultimate goal is to speak through actions. I try to remember that most of my kiddos don’t always come from the best family lives.So I LOVED this post. I deliberately and intentionally push away negative thoughts. I hold on to what keeps me going, picturing this same youth 5 years from now ( HOPEFULLY!?) being a lawabding tax paying citizen, husband and father. I am trying to help him break the cycle.
    Also everytime he or one of the many that do curse me out on a regular basis – I replace the words ” FUCK ” and ” Bitch” with something random like Chair or ice cream and remind myself – they ARE JUST words and I can CHOOSE to not let them affect me.
    I have been very Blessed to be in this position of helping America change how we care for children.
    Now when the very same youth maliciously kicked and smashed my 8yo sons prize winning carved pumpkin… I was definitely angry! luckily for me … there are more pumpkins and I was able to remind him ( and myself) that we will carve a better one. More importantly I hop(!!) I taught him a lesson on forgiveness and things are just that THINGS. People are what really matter – things can be replaced!

  5. Molly said

    Sorry – I didn’t spell check – oops.
    IAND what I originally meant to say before I began rambling was I hope I am repaying all the wonderful role models, teachers, Aunts, Uncles, mentors, and others who helped me through adolescence.

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